I am an only child, and with that comes a lot of things. I don’t like sharing my food, don’t even fucking look at my burger and I don’t get why people can’t make decisions on their own. I wouldn’t say I’m selfish, not outwardly anyway but a huge part of being an only child is that you set your own benchmarks. You have no-one to live up to or be a role model for within your family and your parents are proud no matter what you achieve. I was also taught to believe, like most people within my generation, that you can have anything you want in the world if you just go for it.
Why leave Sydney?
I was parading around life both sarcastically and seriously believing that “you can do anything if you believe in yourself” whilst never really putting it to the test myself. How the hell can you possibly preach such a thing if you stay in the same place and refrain from taking the chances you so confidently promote?
I was working in a job in advertising which was fun, surrounded by a bunch of crazy nut bags who made every day an absolute trip but when it all came down to it, my heart wanted to be elsewhere. I had a great support network for my creative work which I started to churn out weekly and it got me thinking. The question which really cemented my reason for leaving...
What could you create if you removed yourself from your current environment, threw yourself into an unfamiliar one, and gave yourself some time?
I had all this creative energy within me, confidence built on a support network which inspired me and encouraged me to keep creating, and parents who told me I can do anything if i really wanted to. I felt completely underwhelmed with my surroundings and needed to seek freedom from judgement, the chance to truly create without restraint and the opportunity to meet inspirational humans from another planet/country/walk of life. If anyone has ever lived in Sydney, you may understand this need to break free, especially now.
When you move to another country you have to chance to re-establish yourself and your local network. Surround yourself with people who make the fire burn, they talk ideas and want to collaborate, they’re doing things that blow your mind. You then want to do more things to blow other peoples minds. Lots of blowing, you get the picture. The point is that you are who you spend your time with, so I try to choose wisely.
I think Tokyo itself is like most world cities in a sense that it is a melting pot of various types of people all here for different reasons. You have a rich culture, history and a whole other language to learn in order to understand and appreciate the country to its fullest. I craved to be around realness. Raw, fucked up realness. Inspiration, culture, history, real beauty, bloody real life shit. Be with people experiencing highs and lows, experience them myself. Hit rock bottom so I can sing “started from the bottom now we ere” and mean it. Feel the feels. Create from there.
So this is my journey, or my "semi mid life crisis". My decision to find the answer to that burning question which will be answered no doubt over the course of my time here, or maybe not. There’s a rush you get when you pack up your life and move to another country with no understanding or foresight of whether it could fail miserably or be the best thing you’ve ever done. Maybe I will fail. Maybe I will chase the answers for a while but at least I will leave a trail of creations documenting the journey for you all to see. I can’t look back and I sure as hell can’t move forward without creating something. Whatever that “something” is.
Have you found your life purpose? Tell me what it is!
love from Mill.
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!